Tuesday, March 16, 2010

A pain in my...shoulder

My cat has a very sophisticated pallet. His favorite entrees are bananas, bread (but only if he rips the bag open himself), orange juice, and black coffee. I recently found what appears to be Tate's equivalent to women with chocolate.
A week ago or so I injured my left shoulder somehow. I tried icing it and using Ibuprofen, but nothing helped the pain. I have heard in the past that Icy Hot and similar products are actually very bad for your muscles. I broke down anyways and bought some Target brand heat/ice therapy patches. On one side of the patch is some sort of menthol medicine that you just stick to the area that hurts and it does its majic.
I live in a basement appartment and have to sleep in a hoodie every night, so after applying the patch I quickly jumped into the perferred hoodie and snowflake flannel pants and crawled into bed to get lost in a good book. As soon as I was comfortably situated on my stomach Tate decides to lay on my book. This is the normal routine where we will fight for about ten minutes and eventually I decide he is so darn cute and reposition myself to not bother him. Soon after Tate found his comfy spot, he stuck his nose in the air and frantically sniffed in every direction. He was quickly able to realize that the smell was coming from under my sweatshirt.
First, Tate decides that this is heaven and wants it NOW. He climbs on my back and frantically starts licking the shoulder that the Menthol patch is adhered to. He realizes that this is not nearly satisfying enough and starts to "dig" on my sweatshirt to get to the heavenly creation. During that time Tate is purring loudly and groaning with pleasure.
Secondly, Tate decides to take a more direct approach. He realizes that the smell is coming from inside the shirt, and he needs to find a way in. The closest opening was the neck hole. Tate is a very large cat, but has no idea that he may not fit through this hole. First goes one paw, then the other. This is not working out. Tate gets situated in the hood of my sweatshirt and attempts a swan dive into the shirt. His paws pointing downward and his head pushing with all it's might. This as well seems to not work enough so to please Tate.
Lastly Tate figures out how to get to the stupid Menthol patch of his dreams. During all this wriggling around, the bottom of my hoodie starts to ride up and Tates cold little paw strikes the skin on my lower back. With one quick jump and twist Tate realized he has figured out the solution. He dives up my sweatshirt and easily makes it to the Menthol patch that he tries to devour instantly.
I start to worry if these chemicals might be harmful to Tate. I jump out of bed and do a little shake to get the cat out of my shirt. Tate decides he work to hard to let go now. He sinks his back claws into the waist of my PJ pants and tries with all his strength to hold onto my back with his clawless front paws. I realize that clawlessness is probably the best $150.00 I have ever spent.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Beautiful Shining Smiles:)

I have noticed recently that I haven't been getting nearly as many compliments on my smile as I used to. On the risk of sounding overly self involved, I will let you know that I usually was complimented on my smile every other day or so. I would hope so with the six years Dad had to pay for braces, rubber bands, head gear, and retainers. I decided to splurge thirty bucks and get one of those at home whitening kits. I used the Target brand one (which is wonderful), but the chemicals may have gone past my teeth a little....

My first warning that this was going to be an odd dream was that my cat was cuddling with me perfectly on the couch while I was searching for his new daddy on Eharmony. Tate doesn't cuddle nice. Nonetheless, that is how things start.
My second warning that this dream was going to be exceptionally unusual was the fact that I was conversing with a handsome, successful, Twin's fanatic with season tickets. HA! Twin's Fan and I were in the middle of professing our love for each other when I realized that the white strips in my mouth had been there for an hour and a half instead of the recommended half hour. I paniced and ran to the bathroom to pull the things out. I did so and looked in the mirror. There was very bad news. Not only in the dream was the new "fashion" in society to color our teeth like we do our nails, but I had shiny turquoise teeth with holes rotted through the middle! I remember the exact detail of the rotted out area. It was the consistency of, and identical in appearance to, an overly used brown sponge. I went back to my computer to schedule an emergency appointment the next day with my dentist and reassure Twin's Fan that I was still there. Little did I know, Twin's Fan had a fancy new technology that allowed him to view who he is talking to without the person knowing. Twin's Fan saw my teeth, freaked out and let me know that he was going to write the Twin's organization to make sure I didn't get tickets to any game this season. I cried for hours until my head became so moist the teeth simply fell out.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I looked away for second!

My favorite white sweater finally lost the clasp that was hanging on for life by one weak little string. I am sick and don't want to go anywhere today, so I figure this is the best time of any to fix the damn thing
Step 1: Where do I keep the sewing stuff? Under the bed: no; In the closet: no; well that is all the storage I have, Look in the closet again: oh there it is!

Step 2: Thread the needle. This takes a good 15 minutes

Step 3: Throw Tate across the room for trying to eat the needle. No not the thread like most cats. Tate wants the needles

Step 4: Sew on clasp. Look it over, realize it looks horrible, tear it out and do it again. Looks horrible again but patience is not my best suit

Step 5: I hear Tate cough. I look over and he has the end of my thread all the way down and is about to struggle on the needle! I panic of course and grap the needle and pull...and pull....and pull...and pull. I think I used too much tread. Finally got my wet yellow coated thread back. Tate purrs.